As it happens around here once in a while, my holiday column was naughty, not nice, and veered off on its own. So, please enjoy the remix of this happy holiday memory:
“This holiday season isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, nor is winter, but for some people, it’s the coolest thing since ready-made clothes.
Chattereaders know I’m a winter person and a Christmasophile. We Christmasophiles play Christmas music all year long, especially in July and August when the summer is melting our winter spirit. We love the radio stations that start playing nothing but Christmas music even before Thanksgiving. We leave our decorations up until February, when we go into our slump, praying for a protracted winter, late spring, quick summer, and an early autumn.
So, here we are. It’s the holiday season and we are gleaning every last drop of red and green out of each day, while still trying to enjoy all the stuff that comes with the event itself … even the busy part.
“ ‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature stirring ...” That guy must have been kidding. Not a creature was stirring? Time for a rewrite:
“Mom’s in the kitchen preparing the feast, scrubbing potatoes, marinating the beast,
“Setting the table and baking the pies, making all kinds of magic through half-shut eyes.
“Dragging around her sleepy old self, she looked high and low – found no sign of an elf.
“Papa was down in the basement alone, assembling a bicycle, wrapping a phone,
“Carrying toys up the stairs, in the night, and trying to make the tree look just right.
“His tools are a mess and his hammer is missing; the mistletoe’s hung but there’s no time for kissing.
“These two sleepy people, by dawn’s early light, will still be awake, for there’s no sleep tonight.
“There is silver to polish, for the table shall shine. It should have been done, but there just wasn’t time.
“How could we have gotten it all done before, with Thanksgiving so close, and that gift-buying chore?
“There were holiday greetings to write, stamp and mail, and halls to get decked ... every one, without fail.
“So who’s really donning a kerchief and cap, and settling down for a long winter’s nap?
“If assembly required goes just as it should, and the directions, in code, that came with it, are good ...
“The man with no kerchief won’t even get near, for she’s still washing lettuce and prepping platters, we fear.
“Upstairs are children nestled snug in their beds, but no visions of anything dance in their heads.
“They are laughing and giggling, kicking sheets to the floor, and they only half stop when Dad yells through their door.
“In the morning, they’ll tumble downstairs to the tree, where, washed-out and red-eyed, ma and papa will be ...
“Taking pictures and laughing, as though they had rest, and these are the moments that are truly the best.”
I remember when I was a very young woman planning my wedding, I would see those Macy’s television commercials for the holidays ... where all the women looked like a magazine cover, the men were in suits, and the children weren’t zooming around, and I thought life could be like that, if I made it happen. I guess I had another “think” coming ... and I should have taken it. The reality is that life is just real moments with real people and things will go wrong.
Furthermore, (and I’ll admit that I include myself here) many of us are still learning how to take our own best advice and remember that the part of the celebration that is key, is that we get to spend time with the people we love. If we are blessed, we’ll arise to the thunder of laughter and yells, drag our weary selves out of bed, in a warm place filled with love, and be wise enough to soak up all we can from our day, and just enjoy.
Still, we just might exclaim as we glance ‘round our home, ‘This sure ain’t the way that it went in the poem!’”
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