Recently, a really adorable young gal and I had a quick chat.
She had posted a photo of herself in her unintentionally mismatched earrings; she’s one busy mom. Mentioning this column to her, she suggested that, as this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day, it might be fun to rerun it. I thought it was a stellar idea. Just like most mothers seem to, the column held up well. With some revisions, mostly for length, from April of 2003, here it is.
“How do you know you’re a mother?
In our life, we learn many lessons, some more painful than others. We benefit from learning young the value of taking life with a dose of laughter and the great value of dear friends.
Many years ago, one of my dearest friends called to tell me that two of her children were sent to the hospital on the same day for different reasons. The short note I wrote to cheer her was the impetus for this column.
You know you are a mother when:
… your pantyhose have runs and you haven’t worn them yet.
… when you are seated at a posh affair and are unaware that, while chatting, you have reflexively cut the meat for the person sitting next to you.
… when you arrive home from a wedding and discover that you have on similar but not matching earrings.
… when you’ve mastered applying makeup in the dark, without a mirror, while driving.
… when you can check homework, read a recipe and have telephone conversation all at the same time.
… when you are so grateful to still have hair, you don’t care that it’s going gray.
… when sleep becomes a luxury you can no longer afford, and aren’t sure you need.
… when grocery shopping with a 103-degree temperature sounds do-able.
… when you really need to scream, but you don’t want to wake up the kids.
… when you feel like you’re going to have a nervous breakdown, but just don’t have time for that right now.
… when someone pays your 75-year-old father a compliment and you tell your dad to, “Say, ‘thank you.’ ”
… when a manicure is 10 seconds over the sink, with a nail clipper.
… when you’re picking up and dropping off kids in your pajamas and a coat.
… when you can nod off while six teenagers play video games, but one cough will wake you up from another room.
… when you have to cancel an appointment to make another appointment.
… when you spend $200 to save a $1 feeder fish your kids won at a bazaar.
… when you wake up to the alarm clock seven days a week for 17 months.
… when an easy day means you ate lunch sitting down.
… when you can walk on freshly washed floors and not leave footprints.
… when you can make a simple doctor visit that leaves two kids hospitalized for two different things on the same day, and survive.”
There it is. Of course, we may wonder if some of these things could really happen. I can assure you that these have happened: to me; in front of me; or to someone whose honesty I can vouch for. Many more are those we’ve never even been privy to.
Mothers’ Day makes us each experience a range of emotions particular to our own relationships with whatever women in our life it conjures. However, if reservations at restaurants and the price of orchids are any barometer, it’s a day most of us honor the female figures of importance to us and, of course, of moms everywhere.
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