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Camille Granito Mancuso: Chatterbox -- A hug in a flurry

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There’s always so much we need to talk about, so much to understand. Understanding cannot come without sharing. It’s very difficult to feel something as deeply as someone going through it feels it. That comes from energy … human energy.

One of the things I learned was the power of a hug. Yeah, we know, we’re a bunch of snowflakes. Well, guess what? Snowflakes are exactly like people. First, there are no two exactly alike. How about that? Secondly, each is beautiful in its own way. Also, each is temporary. We’re here momentarily, respective of our time frame; we make our mark, serve our purpose and we’re gone. No one knows exactly where we go, nor do we know when we’ll go, but sooner or later, we fade out of existence having shared our beauty and the impact we bring with our life – good, bad and fleeting. Still, while we’re here, like snowflakes, we have a purpose and place in history regardless of who likes us or not. So, yes, in a way, we are all snowflakes.

Hugs warm us up from the outside in and back again and, lately, we human snowflakes haven’t been getting hugged enough. I’ve seen people on videos wrapping themselves in garbage bags so they could hug their mothers and fathers and the other loved ones they’ve been missing … and we’ve all been missing someone.

Many of us have learned how to manage Skype or Zoom meetings just to be with the people we’re missing. I attended a Zoom gathering for my girlfriend’s birthday this past November. It was better than nothing. My family has them for every birthday, and they give us a chance to be together, but the hugs are virtual … it’s like taking a lovely summer swim, in your coat!

The power of the human touch isn’t limited to humans either. Animals embrace their young and not just primates either. Okay, so a giraffe’s long neck and no arms may present problems but they still manage. From polar bears to puppy dogs, touch and embracing is a necessity.

My grandsons give me virtual hugs when I see them, but every once in a while they just can’t resist to running over and wrapping themselves up in my arms (we’re all quarantining so it’s fairly safe when we wear our masks and launder our clothes). It’s rare but the need seems to overwhelm them. Touch, hugs, the comfort we exchange when we feel each other’s heartbeat ... it’s essential.

These days, during a birth, babies are immediately placed skin to skin on their mother’s chest. Dad’s get in on skin time too. It’s been reported to have saved dying infants on more than one occasion. What is the mystery exchange? Body heat, of course, but it has to be more than that. We’ve all felt it. It’s the hug itself.

Too late for my older kids, I learned real hug power. When my youngest, my nephews and, eventually, my grandchildren would cry, I would tell them to hug me and put all their sadness into me. I’d tell them because I was older I could handle it. They would. Then, they would feel better.

When my young grandson would get cranky at night, I would take him to the big rocking chair in the spare room and hug him. We would sing a little tune and rock. He’s 9 now. Often, he’ll sing that song to me and ask me if I remember when I would rock him to sleep. It’s amazing that he can remember it from such a young age, ah, but the hugging … that’s what made it stick.

Quarantine is getting to be a real social issue. Puppies don’t know what strangers coming and going means. Small children are missing lots of smiles and kisses. Newborns are dependent solely on parents for face-reading skill development. Adults, well, we’re just plain going stir-crazy. Of all things, though, whether we realize it or not, it’s the power of the hug we’re missing. These days, the real necessity of them is what we’re coming to understand … far too clearly, and it is real.

If there’s nothing good we can say about this epidemic, and there’s nearly nothing, at least we can say we’ve found new mettle, some discipline, and the value of holding our loved ones close, quite literally.

When this quarantine is over, there will be hugs to pay back for all those missed and, then, we snowflakes are going to make a blizzard.


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